Day 6 Post- Op or Welcome to the Glenrose lol

I was up early and showered before 8 am. Slept remarkably well considering I was in a fair amount of pain before bed. I woke up at 3:50 am again to go to the bathroom but then slept till almost 7 am.
While getting dressed one of the physiotherapists came in and told me I am being transferred to the Glenrose today!! Wow! THAT was fast. I was told yesterday that the other older gentleman who had a BKA weeks ago was next on the list but I guess when the bed came up, the doctor there chose me over him because I am younger and have less issues so  they want to get started with me. First time in my life that it has "paid" to be younger LOL I called my sweetie to let him know as he needed to pick up my things, like the flowers, that sadly would not be going with me to the rehab hospital ;-( I sure hope the girls remember to water the plants ;-/
Anyway, he sounded very distressed by the news, like it was sooooo not at a good time of his day. It ended up that his sister-in-law, bless her, came and picked up the all the stuff to go back to my place, which really, really helped us out. ;-D Thank You.
I then waited for the EMT's to arrive to transport me and in the meantime my girlfriend visited and brought  me more yummy, healthy food that her boyfriend made for me. He really is an accomplished cook.
The EMT's finally came and the handsome one promised to hit every bump possible ;-D I bit my tongue from telling him that would be fine because I had forgot to pack my vibrator ;-P I had a pleasant, albeit bumpy ride and great conversation with the pretty one all the way to the Glenrose Rehabilitation Hospital. I arrived approximately 6 pm and from the stunned look on the face of the nurse at the station, she wasnt expecting another new admission. Had a good chuckle when the handsome one leans over and whispers in my ear "heaven forbid they be ready for you lol, gotta love that blank expression eh?"
 They gave me a private room that is huge and has a beautiful view and when I said "Wow!" she told me it was the "luck of the draw" lol I am sure glad my luck is holding out.
Ok, so spoke too soon. The next thing I know I am being asked a ton of the usual questions; you know the ones that you think they have asked you sooooo many times that they really ought to know this stuff?!? and just when I am thinking "oh brother, here we go again," another nurse comes in with a bunch of bio hazard bags. . . wait a minute, Are those swabs?!? . . . Yep! Nose, groin and rectum, sigh, guess this IS the closest I am getting to sex for a while eh? Anyway, I have been left seemingly to my own devices in this room, after being asked if I was going to unpack LOL Now this was the fun part;  my bed lies along the longest wall facing the alcove to the window; to my right and to the left of the alcove is a desk/shelf; to my left or at the head of my bed is a small dresser on wheels and a full closet with shelves and a place to hang clothes. Across from me, is the door to the unit; the door to my bathroom on the right of that and a 2nd sink to the left before the closet.
I sat for a few minutes and contemplated my situation. They had not told me anything about the rules as yet and I had more than a few questions lol So was this a test? I thought someone would be back. I ended up taking on the challenge and managing to unpack my things. I made it over to the desk where my bags and suitcase were and bowled them over to the closet lol Then used the wheelchair they left me to maneuver around the room to kind of set it up.I did not see another nurse for a little over 3 hours - Peace

Day 5 Post Op - The Unveiling ;-D

7:50 am - My doctors partner came in and unceremoniously unwrapped the bandages for the 1st time . . . WOW! It looks AWESOME!! My surgeon did an awesome job. It's hardly swollen and looks good!! No drainage or seepage on the gauze bandages even. The doctor said "the Big Guy will be pleased and is operating this morning so will be around later to see for himself.
Anyway, I need to describe my residual limb even though I will take a picture and try to post later. It is short and flat on the end of a lightly flared knee, kinda like the end of a trombone except football shaped. Smooth as silk, excellent color and even the stitches are barely visible. Itchy as hell though which I know is a good sign HaHa - The doc only left the dressings on loosely so wonder if I will make it to the bathroom again any time soon..
Both physio and occupational therapy came to see me. I did really well. She said she'd never seen someone do tge whole walk around the unit the first time ;-D I had no problem, whatsoever..
Had a bit of a scare in the afternoon; seems the corner store apartment was in full blazing glory and threatening ours and 3 other apartments surrounding it. Thank goodness it wasn't ours but my daughters boyfriend had us worried there for a while.
The social worker who had spoken to me earlier about my accomodations at home also came back in the afternoon after she had spoken with the property manager, who of course lied through his teeth to her, even going as far as saying that he didnt know the repairs weren't done and now apparently the dishwasher is on order and will be there by the end of the month ;-/ I like the social worker here. She is very nice. I don't understand how anyone gets these kinds of arrangements made without help so really appreciative.
Quite a bit of phantom pain tonight (6:40 pm) Don't know why as I didn't really do anything. So I guess I will just have to wait and see if anything else happens today lol.
So by 7:00 pm my limb pain was "0" and the phantom pain approaching a "4" so I took a full dose of tincture to test the effects, if any, on the phantom limb. Well, I tell you that it basically "calmed" my obviously screaming nerves for approximately 3 hours ;-D Took another dose at 10 pm and may take one more tonight to sleep.
I had 4 visitors in the evening, 2 being my daughters. The eldest says she's sick of telling people how well I am LOL because they cannot believe it. She says now she's just telling them to come and see for themselves.
Well, I will tell you what it is. . . it is nothing short of a miracle; a bonafide miracle and truth be told, it's a whole bunch of miracles all tied together. It couldn't be anything else. I laugh when another nurse or doctor or health professional or social worker remarks how thay have not seen anyone like me or the way in which I handle things, is probably more accurate. I just know that really, bottom line, a greater power is guiding me or has a hand in this ;-D My level of faith has been renewed but the difference this time for me is that the level of trust has been raised as well ;-D Peace

Day 4 Post Op

I have been awake since 3:50 am. Anxious to see me doctor I guess. It's only Day 4 post of and I still feel really good. Catheter drip is still at 3ml/hour and when the 1st doctors came at 7 am, I asked if it could be reduced again today. They didn't really answer me LOL but I heard one sa that it's already a miniscule dosage. I think the fact that I want it lowered is a good sign.
I just want to say here that I have really appreciated and enjoyed my nurses so far. Each has been absolutely unique and even the one who had the best prank played on her is still speaking to me LOL I am glad to see our youth are still interested in these types of careers though sometimes for the life of me I am not sure why.
Well, now almost 11:15 am and I have not seen my vascular surgeon. I wish he'd hurry up, I want to see my leg lol It's been wrapped up for 4 days and the suspense is killing me. The original bandages are loose and feel as if I could just pull my leg right out of them if it wasnt for the pain sheath.
The nurse came and turned down the dosage again; it's now infusing 2ml/hr. My phantom pain has increased, I believe as a direct result. My non-existent foof feels ischemic pressure, sigh. I really wonder how long and/or permanent THAT will be?
Now it's 5 pm and pressure is no longer an issue. I think it will be ok if they take the sheath right our tomorrow. Finally my doctor shows up. He promised to remove the dressing for the 1st timwe tomorrow and will likely remove the pain sheath as well. Then he said arrangements will be started for me to transfer to the Glenrose Rehabilitation Hospital. This could take awhile as physio at the Grey Nuns has to be involved. I am sure it will not take long once the sheath is removed because I really do not need acute care anymore.
My sweetie was delayed later than usual tonight and didn't stay long ;-( But he did stay long enough to help me put some things away and help me get ready for bed. I love him very much. He means the world to me and I appreciate all that he does.
My phantom pain feels like my foot is burning from frostbite tonight LOL though it's really not funny. Quite disturbing to me actually and leaves me wondering when and if it will diminish over time. I am going to take some of my tincture and go to bed at a decent time after I have a cup of peppermint tea to relieve my gas. Hopefully it works like usual as I have never experienced this intensity of gas that I have this time around. I have been able to force it out the bottom but burp? Forget it, hasn't been happening LOL
So I was a little upset with my youngest daughter, I was hoping she could help me with the brutality my lower back and stomach muscles have been going through but no such luck as she is getting ready to embark on a weekend rave trip.
3:50 am I am woken up by the feeling of someone jabbing my non-existent heel with a nail or spike. I found myself trying to rub my ankles together to rid myself of the annoyance, like a mosquito LOL It was so weird that I literally laughed out loud. Ended up having to go to the bathroom, so had the nurse change my soaked bed - DAMN HOT FLASHES

Day 3 Post Op

Ok People, make up your minds!!! First thing this morning a doctor comes in and says no supplements AGAIN!!! This makes the 5th time they've changed their minds. I told him I would stop everything but the Glucosamine as I need that for my joints, especially when they want me mobile, sigh. I am not sure if I mentioned that I no longer have an IV in my hand. They took it out the night before last because it occluded and they have not had to put in another one. Thank goodness, I guess I've had enough antibiotics for them LOL.
I feel really good. They decreased the drip from the pain sheath to my stump to 3ml/hour.They did this bright and early and I have not had a problem.I bet they could have reduced it further or done this reduction yesterday but everything for a reason eh? I am just so thankful that the Creator has seen fit to make this whole ordeal right or bearable. It is said that God never gives a person more than they can handle in life so I am putting my complete trust in Him/Her. Makes sense to me ;-D
My cousin came to see me and though I have not been specifically mentioning my visitors individually, I want to mention her because she saw the book I am currently reading, the one my sister gave me {see previous blog} and asked me if I was taking "A Course In Miracles" She told me she took the actual course and was surprised to find someone, probably someone so close to her, reading that very text. What a sign eh?
The rest of the day saw quite a few visitors. So now its5:45 pm and they just brought dinner in while I was in the bathroom, probably so I couldn't complain lol I was still full from "lunch" so not feeling hungry but I was good and ate part of it anyway. My sweetie even took me outside too LOL into the mosquito jungle omg! I tried to roll a joint outside and one cannot do that! LOL We had to come back in so I could roll then once we got outside, we had to keep moving so I could even smoke part of it. There was one point where we got to this little concrete & stone sitting area where I got about 5 mins of relief LOL Only ended up smoking half the joint but it was heaven ;-D. . . .for awhile ;-/

Catch Up Part 2

Since I was finally feeling better. I was now hungry lol but of course after an operation, no one wants you to have anything but fluids until your body is functioning normally on its own. Most of you probably know the drill, you have to be urinating and having regular bowel movements and be passing the inevitable gas { I use peppermint tea to aid this by the way} So being denied food, what was the next best thing my mind could come up with? Pranks lol, pranks that could only be played this early in the game so I got my daughter to help me set it up. The girls had made a beautiful fibreglass cast of my lower right leg, which by the way is almost exactly the same length as the piece they took off ;-D Anyway, I got her to help me place it under the covers at the end of my stump so that covered up it looked like the doctors had not done anything hehehe then I waited. Well, the first to come in were nurses, there were 3 of them, not all at once, just checking vitals etc. but not one of them noticed the reattached foot ;-( then 3 docs came in, one of which was the resident OR surgeon who had assisted my vascular surgeon; the other two were interns . . . sadly none of them noticed either lol but now the fun begins. I wasnt bothered too much the rest of the night, the shifts changed and the night nurse did mostly everything in the dark so she didnt really see anything but come 6 am she had to come in to do a full set of vitals, and I knew she would have to look at the bandage to check for seepage and what not lol
So, in she comes and she does her vitals and comes around to the right side of the bed. I could tell that she was a bit perplexed by what she was seeing and when she lifted up the blankets, the look on her face was quite distressed so I took pity on her and touched her arm and said "it's fake", well, she let out the air she was holding and started to laugh. Then she says "set it back up again, I am going to get another nurse" so I told her I could use an ice pack and she said "ok, I'll be right back."
She comes back with my ice pack and another nurse who she has apparently told she needed to come help with lift up my leg for the ice pack placement. Nurse 1 lifts up the blanket and nurse 2 says "What do you want me to do?" Nurse 1 says, "lift up her leg so I can put the ice pack underneath her knee" Well Nurse 2 goes to grasp my leg at the cast and of course it comes right off in her hands! OMG, the look on her face was priceless!!! I will never forget it as long as I live, she was so startled and both Nurse 1 and I were laughing so hard we almost peed ourselves and I nearly fell out the other side of the bed. Needless to say, Nurse 2 took it well and I had Nurse 1 set it up one last time to lay in wait for my favorite doc, my vascular surgeon hehehe
He did not disappoint me, for he was right on time, early 7 am, in scrubs, ready for surgery. {Have I mentioned that my surgeon looks like Jason Batemen - Mmmm} Anyway, he comes in and he is not alone; there are 3 new nurses and 3 doctors, 2 of which were again in on the original operation and 1 being the resident vascular surgeon for the hospital. Being that this was my docs case, he took the lead and I could tell from his cursory glance at the bed that his first thought was "I thought I amputated the right leg???" but of course, he is the "big guy" and wasn't going to say anything direct lol So he finally finishes his little lecture/talk and he comes around the bed, I am totally deadpan, and he lifts the blankets lol Everyone could see there was a cast there where it was suppose to be amputated but says nothing, the room is kinda silent, then my doc gets this funny look on his face and turns to me and says "what is this?" with a big grin on his face. I couldn't help but laugh and say  " well you passed the test, I had 3 nurses and 3 doctors in here before you who never noticed a thing! lol I figured if you didn't notice, then there is something wrong!" Well the whole room started to laugh and laughed even harder when I recounted what had happened an hour ago with Nurse 1 and Nurse 2. It still makes me smile even thinking about it now lmao
Interestingly enough, I ended up not being able to pull that joke again, not only because within hours I am sure EVERYONE had heard about it but because I found that when I had the cast in place, it made my phantom pain more severe, seriously, I had my daughter help me test it for when she first placed it there, any pain I had in my stump almost immediately transferred to the cast or non-existent foot and when she took it away, it lessened. It was ok though, I had had my fun, so was satisfied and put my foot cast in the windowsill for all to see LOL
8:30 am rolls around and I am just waiting on breakfast but much to my dismay breakfast is still fluids. I ate the cream 'o' wheat but that was about it. The morning was uneventful with the exception of the removal of the hated catheter and being blissfully able to go to the bathroom normally lol
The second night post surgery wasnt so great by 1030 pm in spite of the pain sheath my leg really hurt. I guess I had been up a bit too much. I am such a show off I guess. I have been having trouble keeping my blood pressure down. No surprise there really but they keep wanting to increase the meds I am on. I finally got told I could take my natural supplements after being told I could, then couldn't. Wish they would make up there bloody minds. Yet my BP still rises which is really not a good thing. Only a few visitors during the first 48 to 72 hours which I was grateful for.
I have been pretty bored. Not a lot to do and was told no physio until monday, (Thank God! lol) Not sure if I am quite ready to just jump in there yet even thought I know the sooner the better. I am just really glad that I am not in more pain. It seems to be getting less and less.
The phantom limb thing is weird though. Several imes I thought my "foot" was going to get hit and jerked my leg out of the way at the last minute OUCH!! My missing big toe is burning right now as I write, very annoying.

The 1st Week Post Op or Phantom Pain Go Away ;-D

I am back with a bit of a vengeance because I have been away from the computer for so long and I have sooooo much to write about lol My daughter gave me a beautiful journal made out of recycled sari's and homemade paper that I have been keeping since entering the hospital so I have decided to take excerpts out of the many pages that I have written and place them here in my "catch up" entry. I figure that will be the easiest way to bring everyone up to speed. I have pics to download too lol that is if I can figure out how to get them off of my phone lol Anyway, where my journal picks up the day after surgery so maybe I should start with how the surgery went because it was way less scary than I thought it might be lol
I was on the operating table  and the surgery began at 8 am, it only took 2 hours as my doc did not restructure my vascular system as I thought he was going to. Instead he told me that my secondary vascular system would now be supplying the blood to my now shortened limb. I did not use the mp3 player that they gave me with the visualization tracks on it as it wasnt very comfortable. My doc did not have his music playing either so the room was quite quiet. This allowed for me to be talkative lol I was able to ask questions, which was good because, the spinal, though hiding the pain certainly did not take away the feeling lol I knew exactly what they were doing, when they were doing it which thus prompted the questions. The only gross detail that I wanted to mention was to do with the saw lol and only because it was the one aspect of this whole thing that was a little disconcerting to say the least. When it came to that part, my doc used a hand saw to score the bones first, then the electric saw to actually cut the bones; now this is the part that I think everyone including myself thought would be so horrible, the noise etc. Well, I can now tell you that it sounded like an electric toothbrush and was only a zip, zip and done ;-D If anything, it was the rasp that he used after that to smooth and round the ends of the Tibia and Fibia that was more gross lmao Anyway, the rest of the operation was uneventful really, though at one point in the relative silence, just after I had the "saw" experience, I said "Question?" and the whole operating room answered me back almost simultaneously lol so I said, " I assume that by law or policy of some sort that you must weigh the piece or pieces including scraps and record it somewhere, can you tell me what that number will be?" One of the docs, said "well, yes, Kismet you're right, though we won't know what it is exactly today. Your doctors will have access to that report and will be able to tell you, probably in 10 days" Later my vascular surgeon estimated 12 lbs which would mean that I have already lost 2 more pounds just being in hospital because today I am a total of 14 lbs lighter since the 7th when I was weighed just before the operation ;-D I don't know what the doctors thought about the whole thing, they sure were quiet. I would tend to doubt that they are that quiet when the patient is asleep lol
Anyway, though the surgery went off without any hitches, recovery did not lol, I had not had anything to eat since 5 pm the night previous and nothing to drink since midnight. Why I was so ill in recovery was at first beyond me but as I sort things out in my head I think it was just my bodies response to pain/trauma, even though I had the spinal, my body is still being tramatized. Then when I started having multiple hot flashes, I was done, I never retched so much in my life lol and they wouldn't let me sit up to do it either so I basically did super crunches into a basin every 10 minutes for hours, 12 approximately, give or take an hour lol By 11:30 that night I was feeling much, much better and it's been all pretty good since then. More later xo

Day + 7 or T minus 1 day?!? ;-/

So as of today it has been a week since the cancellation . . .ok well the jist of my writing today WAS going to be about how long things are taking and about how I have managed to calm down lol but the phone just rang and it was my surgeons office. {shakes head} I was just at his office this very morning to drop off those blank medical forms too. Anyway, it was his lovely new receptionist callin"g me with, are you sitting down? a new date for surgery ;-/ "Oh Hi Kismet, this is the doctors office, I know you were just in here this morning but we've had a cancellation on Thursday and the doctor wants to know if you would like your surgery done then?"     :-o
For just a moment, I wasnt sure what I wanted to say lol what DO you say to something like that? "Oh yes, please!!!" lol I just said "sure" and asked if the doctor was planning on talking to me at all?
Anyway, like I said before, I am not calling everyone so here I guess is the official announcement:

Kismet's Below Knee Amputation - Thursday, July 7, 2011 - exact time TBA

I dont have to go to the pre-op again and apparently my blood bank band is still valid so I just call the hospital tomorrow after 3pm for the exact time.

So I guess that is that - Peace

Day + 6

It is already noon and I am still undressed. Now it is almost 9 pm at night and I am only half dressed LOL I have had a day and a half and feeling a little used up, I guess is the best way to describe it. It isnt like being overwhelmed, like on information overload day lol, it's more like my battery has run its course in very short order today. I dealt with 2 docs offices, the hospital where mum is, Great West Life, CPP Disability as well as 2 or 3 other crisises, the end results being way less than gratifying, sigh
My family docs office set up an appointment for me to speak directly with the doctor regarding my faulty CPP medical report that I asked for my $60 bucks to be refunded lol well the laughs on me because that appointment isn't until a week tomorrow ;-/ The vascular surgeons office wants me to bring in the blank CPP medical report forms that I have for him to fill out but he won't be in the office until wednesday so his receptionist will talk to him then and relay my concerns?!? hooo boy THAT sounds promising, let's see well, the doctor at the Sturgeon hospital where my mum is currently, received several messages from me throughout the day but did not return my calls at all; instead a nursing resident who apparently goes on all the doctors rounds with them called and tried to answer my queries. She got the receiving end of some emotional shit lol and ended up giving me her private line, stating " you may be able to get ahold of me much easier than the doctor." Guess that's a good thing ;-? Great West Life was just now returning my frantic call from last thursday lmao, nuff said.
Some nice gay boys took the letter and updated information I promised CPP Disability to Canada Place for me so I didn't have to ;-D - Thank you boys xoxo
I cannot really do anything about the other 2-3 crisises so I am letting them go as best I can  which according to my daughter(s) is not well enough. Don't get me wrong, I know they mean well but sometimes it just seems like they just do "mean" well, sigh, did I teach them that?!?  I would like to think that they're unaware that they are doing it but hard to conceive on some levels ;-/ Funny thing is it really is just a very basic reaction to fear.
So in proverbial limbo I remain until more aspects align themselves with the rightness of the Creator and allow things to flow once again. Until then I need to rest and try to take care of myself; let my adult friends fend for themselves for awhile and not butt my nose into more chaos and miscreation as it only helps exacerbate my own fears; which is very unproductive ;-/ Peace

Oops missed a day ;-p

It is now 12:07 Monday morning on Day + 6 and I have been contemplating bed for over 4 hours. I am upset and am finding it difficult to sleep. I have gone on so long it seems and I am tired. Sunday was spent trying to sort out my mother's hospital situation and by the time I got home from that I was too tired to go to my daughters place, much to her dismay I am sure. She is going to perform with Team Canada at the World Gynestrada in Lausanne, Switzerland and she leaves on Wednesday. I am very happy that she has this opportunity. Lausanne is the official Olympic Capital and houses the headquarters of the International Olympic Committee {IOC}It will be the trip of a lifetime and I am very proud of her. She was upset with me and her sisters this evening; probably partially why I cannot sleep lol
I am going to have to be up in a few hours to further deal with my mother's situation as well as my own, like trying to find out what my doctors new schedule is??? I hope my daughter can open herself up to the possibility that we WILL see each other before she leaves and know that if we don't for some reason, that it has no bearing on whether she is going to have a great time ;-/ I will love her just as much and wish her just as safe a journey even if I don't get to say it in person.
I am going to give sleep my best shot now and I believe that tomorrow is another day; one in which I may allow the grace of God to continue to re-enlighten me ;-D Peace

Day + 4

I am missing my sweetie this morning as I wake up. I may have mentioned that he is my rock and I know we mutually consent to our lives being so intertwined which is why I think it is ok for me to feel empathy for his current situation. He has a full time job, 9 til 6 most weekdays and 9 til 5 saturdays as well as cares for his elderly mother who has Alzheimers and is still living in her own home ;-/ A typical day for him would go something like this: Get up at 7 am, make sure his mom is up and starting her routine; supervise her morning meds; see that she has had breakfast; change the information signs, date, day etc; remind her that homecare will be coming and why, then go to work, usually for 9 {sometimes it's earlier, depending if he has to drive the delivery truck} Then he works all day till 6 pm at which time he may have to stop at the grocery store or bank before going home to fix dinner; sit with his mum while they eat because that is the only way to get her to eat more than a few pecks; and stay up until she starts her bedtime routine; supervise bedtime meds and  she goes to bed for the night. This can be anytime from 9 to midnight depending on what is going through her mind on any given night in particular. Then, almost always without fail, he comes to see me ;-) even if it is only for 10 minutes, "to get his kisses" he says lol There have been a few times when I have told him to stay home because the stress is taking it's toll on his body. We ARE the same age practically, only 6 months between us, born the same year, he a spring baby and me a fall ;-/ I notice that sometimes he looks a little weathered.
Please, don't get me wrong here, this routine has been working quite well since March 2006 or so. It has been since then that he has really had to keep an eye on her though I don't think she was assessed and diagnosed with Alzheimers officially until 2008. Now, he has added stressors, like her frailty; poor thing slipped and fell down the backk 3 steps, breaking her hip in the process a year ago last December. She was in the hospital for a month with the family doing a 24/7 virgil because she had to be reminded every 5 mins why she was there. I thought for sure that it would be recommended that she be moved to a care facility but that did not happen. It was pointed out that she had "help" at home and the decision was made to leave things the way they were.
The latest thing is she is starting to mistake him for his father, who, of course, is deceased. He keeps having to show her his drivers license to convince her she is wrong ;-( The only reprieve he gets from this routine is almost every saturday {Bless them} his brother comes and picks his mum up and takes her to their place overnight. This weekend, however, his nephew has a lacrosse final in B.C. somewhere so my sweetie is looking after their dog is at the house too. His sister is in town too from Vancouver. She has her mum's POA and personal directive so this is a good thing as my sweetie is unable to make any kind of personal/financial decisions for his mum on a daily basis and has to rely on when she comes to visit. ;-/
I find myself in the midst of all the above for as I mentioned before, our lives are pretty intertwined ;-) wondering, with all the baggage my life brings to the equation on top of everything else, just how much more can he take? I know he is trying to stay on an even keel by prioritizing any task that needs to be done, often relegating the least important to the back burner. Why is it that I can see the things that are directly being affected? At home? In his life? But those who are suppose to be closest to him cannot? He often says there are not enough hours in the day and I think What would you do if you had more hours in the day??? Take proper time to rest and rejuvenate, hopefully ;-D When my mum was diagnosed with vascular dementia, I was recommended a book to read called "The 36 Hour Day." It was extremely enlightening and I would recommend it to anyone who is having to care for, deal with, make decisions about their elderly parents or relatives with dementia.
In my humble opinion, this has gone beyond what any one person should have to endure and though he will continue out of love for her, it doesn't make it right. There are ways for both of them to have rich, productive lives; one's in which we can all participate; just like I do with my mum, despite my health issues. Anyway . . . .
It is now just past noon and I am missing my sweetie - Peace

Day + 3 or Not so unhappy Canada Day ;-/

It is now the 3rd day since the rather abrupt cancellation of my surgery and it's Canada Day. This is probably the first time our family hasnt planned some kind of  "event" for Canada Day. I remember when my mother had a highrise condo on Saskatchewan Drive; we had a couple of Canada Day parties there culminating with a perfect box seat on the 10th floor balcony for the fireworks display ;-D
We were not expecting to all be together this Canada Day, for obvious reasons,  I know I was a little at a loss as to what I really wanted to do so I decided to spend at least a good portion of the day at the hospital where my mother was finally placed on a ward. Afterward, I visited one of my good friends, who, I might add didnt even get a phone call when all the crap went down and had only heard through the grapevine at my old place of employment that my surgery was cancelled. When she had called and left a message, she wasnt sure if I was waiting at the hospital or home {shakes head} I am still in awe at the far reaching effects that this experience is having on humanity.
I had decided holding my breath would not be a good thing lol so I have been trying to be productive and work on things that I did not get a chance to do before the 28th. I am not going to even hazard a guess as to when they will call but I am going to keep on top of my vascular surgeons office and maybe ask my family docs office for my $60 back unless of course GWL reimburses me, though I would feel better asking for my money back lol.
I am starting to really calm back down now, wow only took 3 days and I notice that the muscles across the tops of my shoulders are sore from being so tense. My foot has seemed to calm down as well for I have not suffered any particular ill effects from my walk home from Canada Place yesterday. The girls were at first ready to spring once again as I walked to the bank and the bakery as well during the same, say 9-12 block round trip. I took my time and had my walker; I left Canada Place by 2;15pm or so and was home just before it started to rain at 4:30pm so I took my time and it was good. Like getting back up on the horse again in a manner of speaking. Sort of a crash course in self confidence boosting. Though it has been difficult over the last 72 hours, I can feel my focus/confidence/determination returning and even more so as I am accomplishing some of the errant tasks that need to be completed preferably before the surgery is rescheduled.
I think by the end of this weekend I may also be caught up on my sleep; this is ALWAYS a good thing lol and doesnt happen often this quickly so I feel good about how things are progressing. ;-D
I still have a slight sense of the nagging "hurry up and get it over with" syndrome but just remind myself that this is something that is clearly out of my hands and therefore already perfect even if I cannot envision how that would look. Who am I to say/try? Que sera, sera - Peace