Party Day ;-D

So this is Day 4 ;-/ Saturday, party day, and I suppose one would expect that I'd be a little subdued at this point but I don't see the point unless I had not had 6 months to "reflect" on what I am about to undergo and why. I am actually surprised that I am not more excited about this party than I am. I think it is because I am tired and that there IS an underlying sombreness to it all. But if I let that sombreness creep up and envelope me, from experience I know how easy it is to succumb and allow depression to rear it's ugly little head. Throughout this whole vascular experience, I have managed to maintain a positive attitude and I intend to continue. When God gives you lemons, you make lemonade, right? That's what I have always believed and it has worked pretty well for me. My life has been FAR from miserable in fact, I feel quite blessed in many ways. I have a loving, caring immediate and extended family who I KNOW are concerned for my well being. Some may not understand my attitude but I know they want what is best for me. I believe that, other than God, I know what is best  for me ;-/ and if I don't or I have been in error in my thinking or judgement, then I am the one who must take responsibility for correcting that error by returning to right mindedness.
I think this is a fantastic journey, good and not so good lol but I cannot really bring myself to consider any one part of it so far "bad"; more like necessary ;-)
I am going to give my foot a great send-off tonight; it deserves it for almost 50 years of loyal service, never really giving me grief or ever complaining; taking the tickles with the stubbs ;-)
Well, the party started out kinda slow, probably because we were not ready on time  {rolls eyes} but in the end it was a lot of fun. For me I experienced a myriad of emotions but also felt like it was almost inappropriate to express them. Only once was I in the bathroom with toilet paper stuck to my eyelids lol after that I just said to myself that that was not the intention of this party and I could tell that if I didn't have a good time, my guests certainly weren't going to and that just would have been one big bummer. In the end I have mixed feelings about whether it was a good idea lol, on an emotional level yes it was great but on a physical level, just the clean up alone tends to cause me anxiety lol plus I didnt get to bed til well after 5 am ;-/ Good lesson in letting go though because really, I am not going to be here after tomorrow {monday} so it really doesnt matter. I am really tired tonight though. It is only 10 o'clock and I am beat. Going to bed because I need to be up early to finish getting ready for the hospital stay. At least I will be busy which will keep me from dwelling on things and make the time go by fast ;-D Peace